Three pillars for comprehensive attachment repair
The Three Pillar Model of Attachment Treatment was developed by Dr. Daniel P. Brown (Harvard Medical School) and David S. Elliot, PhD. With this method it is possible to profoundly change insecure attachment patterns. An insecure attachment pattern
influences how we perceive ourselves (self-esteem; stability and clarity of self-image; organization of mind)
affects how we experience and shape relationships (excessive anxiety and/or avoidance of relationships)
influences our experience of emotional states (recognizing emotions; regulating emotions; self-soothing)
significantly increases the risk of developing mental disorders
Each of the three pillars focuses on an important aspect of secure attachment. They support each other in an integrated and holistic approach. In this way, profound change is possible and a secure attachment pattern can develop. The core of this method is the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol.
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Ideal Parent Figure Protocol
In this guided imagination inspired by Tibetan Buddhist meditation techniques, you are going to imagine your ideal parents. These ideal parents are ideally suited to you and your nature. They embody the qualities that help create a secure attachment pattern: they are always there for you, protective, helping you deal with difficult feelings, and support you to develop your best, authentic self.
In the imagination we work together interactively and I guide you so that you can have experiences of secure attachment with these ideal parent figures, that are individually tailored to you and your needs. In this way you can catch up on what was missing in your childhood.
By repeatedly experiencing positive attachment experiences, new neural pathways develop in the brain, and a new, secure attachment pattern is created step by step.
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Developing metacognitive skills
The term metacognition or mentalizing refers to various abilities related to understanding and reflecting on one's own mental states and behavior and that of other people.
The ability to mentalize is developed from the first months of life: In a secure attachment relationship, the child’s feelings, thoughts and behaviors are constantly mirrored back by the parents or caregivers. In this way the child increasingly learns to reflect on their own thoughts, to perceive feelings as feelings, to understand and regulate them and much more. These are invaluable resources that support us as adults in everyday life, at work and in relationships.
People with an insecure attachment pattern usually have weak metacognitive skills because they didn't learn them well as children. Therefore we use the best techniques of psychology as well as mindfulness techniques to strengthen your metacognitive abilities.
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Fostering collaborative relationships
Our relationships with other people can be an invaluable resource. Here we recharge our batteries, experience closeness and connection and strengthen ourselves for the challenges of life.
But for people with an insecure attachment pattern it can be a different story entirely: relationships feel like a burden and can trigger fear, anger, helplessness and frustration. We may find ourselves unable to form meaningful relationships in the first place, or we notice the same patterns and conflicts play out over and over again.
Attachment theory has been established as an important branch of psychology for decades and provides insights into what contributes to the success of relationships – and what does not.
We apply the concepts of attachment theory to your relationships so that you can increasingly leave deadlocked patterns, communicate needs clearly and shape relationships in such a way that they are supportive and fulfilling.